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These are tough and senseless times that punish both man and biker alike. It tests our hearts and souls, if we had souls. Like everyone else, motorcyclists have been suffering through this sputtering economy. But this does not mean we have to cry like a bunch of babies, stay home, mumble and moan about the days we could afford food and gas. We just need to be a little more creative, tighten our chains and use our brains. There are ways, my broke friend, to stretch nothing into something.

Wily veterans have long used sneaky, well-kept secrets and crafty tricks to get the most out of what’s left of their last oily, tattered dollar. A little saddle time can mean the difference between happy hugs and hopeless horribleness. Riding helps you forget your troubles, and puts miles between you and the bill collectors and revenuers. The plan is so simple you’ll wonder why you’ve been moping around like a sissy who lost his lollipop. After 30-something years of biking and bumming, piling up a wealth of valuable experience at being broke, I am bona fide and institutionally certified to deliver free advice. Truth is, we blow bucks on a lot of unneeded stuff.

Topping the list is eating out. It is one of the prime differences between old school and new school, frugality and frivolity. New school throws down the cash at the first inkling of appetite; old school can’t waste time pulling over to satisfy a hunger pang or two when a home cooking is only two or three hundred miles away.

When I was a boy, the notion of eating out meant gathering roots and berries, or starving until we made it back. This, my dad would proudly say, toughened you up, built character, made you appreciate the value of a dollar. I would have traded all that in for a sandwich, but the stingy coot was right.

Even though we have become a nation of fatties, there is an economical compromise: pack your saddlebag with a picnic. Include cold beverages, hearty sandwiches, maybe a piece of fruit for once. Pick a spot along one of your favorite scenic roads, pull over at some piney place, relax, enjoy, save money.

It’s like eating at home, but you’re out. Bring a date and you’ve got the makings for romance. Variations of the saddlebag picnic include the backpack breakfast and the Tour-Pak dinner. Drain a little motor oil into a tin can, light it and you have instant ambience. In your saddlebag or tool roll, next to the ham sandwich, keep a good all-in-one tool. This can save space, and your ass. It’s okay to invest a little money in a good one since, you know, your life may depend on it. Toss in a flashlight, spare fuses, tire inflator, matches, and a couple of granola bars.

Low blood sugar can be dangerous, make you do costly things. On one long lost ride, at the first gas station we had seen in 133 miles, a hunger-dazed buddy accidentally filled his tank with diesel fuel, but realized his blunder before starting the motor. Still, the tank had to be drained; which would have been easier if he had bothered to pack a few tools.

Luckily, I had my handy mini multi-tool thing, which we used to unclamp the fuel line and drain the diesel harmlessly away in a proper BP-endorsed manner. If he had only eaten that granola bar, this potentially expensive lapse in cognition would never have happened.

Alternatives to dining out or bagging it include buying food and drink directly from supermarkets. This can be as good as bringing a pre-made meal, but fresher. Supermarkets sell chilled and “warm” drinks (cheaper). Both get the job done. Deli counters sell sandwiches and salads, or you can just buy some cheese, bread and a fine bottle of non-alcoholic wine (always check the discount bins for best vintages), make your own and have a damn romantic lunch somewhere, probably someplace beyond the parking lot.

Stay tuned for more travel and maintenance tips from the Budget Biker. And remember, ‘Biking is better when it’s cheap.’