To try and remedy this unbelievably terrible shot to your ego, you roll into your local Harley dealer and start loading it up with more chrome bits and then some more. But, other than a few people noticing the changes, you’re still rolling around and looking good as far as you’re concerned, but what happened to all the compliments and constant admiration you got used to that’s now a rare happening? Wait ‘til winter and you’ll show ‘em who’s got it all going on. 

   As the seasons change and it gets uncomfortably cold to ride, you decide, “To hell with it! It’s going down.” So you cash in your 401K and find the nearest shop that caters to custom baggers and tell them, “Do me and do me good!” With the exchange of the bike and a big pile of your newfound cash, the work begins. Just about everything you once liked about the bike gets removed and put on a shelf including quite a bit of bodywork too. Then the real work and the billing begins, but you don’t care the least. For once you are going for it ─ really, really going for it. There will be no excuses or reasons why you shouldn’t keep firing your money gun and reloading and firing again and again until you’ve got a special moment in your lifetime. 

  Although you want a show bike, you also want a street bike so you can ride it around proud as a peacock and ready for the equivalent of a press conference every time you park it up. A 30- or a 32-inch wheel (or the upcoming 34-inch!) doesn’t cut it for your street riding so you go for a much more reasonably-sized 26-incher. It’s enough so nobody (including your neighbor who hates bikes and doesn’t know a thing about them) will ever think this is a show room floor model like the FLHX was. It’s go time! 

   The choice of a front wheel design can be pretty mindboggling with all the different designs out there. Then you think back to what you mentally declared your favorite wheel design you saw on some TV motorcycle builder show. It’s the Nitrous wheel, from your favorite TV designer, Chip Foose. It’s time now for the frame to be seriously modified with an extension and additional rake to allow this big hoop to fit. Done and done the welds get cleaned up and you decide, “To hell with it, it’s not going back to black” and strip it completely down for a total repaint. 

   Mocking the rest of the bike takes more time and money as the front fender, tank stretch, frame covers, extended saddlebags and flowing rear fender are all custom stuff now. Getting everything to fit perfectly is only part of the work as there’s lots of new stuff to put in there like more audio equipment than you have in your house. The wiring issues alone are overwhelming to think about, but then that’s why you’re not doing it yourself. 

   After going this far, it’s impossible not to hit all your internal check list’s wishes so you redo the forks with new bits and chuck the excellent stock brakes for something a bit more to your liking. A big rotor/single six-piston caliper keeps track of your bike on the road while allowing your front wheel to appear naked on the right side view when at rest. Let ‘em drink in the details you think. Front and rear air suspension is a must too if it’s all about the coolness and not much is cooler than a big wheel bagger dropping to the ground or jumping up before you take off. It’s a bit of drama that never gets old for both you and your admirers. 

   Then it’s on to the engine for a serious pep talk which is something most big wheel bagger owners avoid. Out go the cylinders, out go the heads, toss the stock cam in the trash and hit the Screamin’ Eagle catalog hard along with a few more changes on the external side and you’ve got a bike that doesn’t take guff from anyone about being just a poser. That 2-into-1 exhaust snakes around tranny and then straight back before dumping out through a loud bastard of what could be the most beautiful sewer pipe ever made. Nothing’s restricted going in or out of this motor and you neighbor will gladly testify to that to anyone who will listen to his ramblings. 

   With the rest of the custom details like the handlebars, foot and hand controls and custom seat seen to, it’s time for paint. Paint is the make it/break it part of any build and doing it wrong will not only kill your dream, but your bank account too (what’s left of it) if it’s a do-over. The paint just has to be loud and proud and what could be more proud than a Fly Yellow Ferrari Testarossa from your youth? That car and that paint have stuck in your mind forever and it’s the perfect antidote to an all black bike. Nicely blend in some silver with orange striped paneling and some fresh orange flame pinstriping here and there and you have a whole ‘nother look like nobody’s business but your own.  

    The only question left when you complete a build like this is what do you do next winter for an encore? Maybe the solution is just to ride it farther and farther from your home base next season and meet new admirers. When you pull into a new town with a Fly Yellow big wheel bagger there’s no way you’re going to be able to sneak through town unnoticed. And, that’s what this wild and crazy bagger with seemingly acres of super bright Fly Yellow, never to be confused with mellow yellow, is all about. Yes- in-deedy, you’ve come full circle and there’s no going back. That’s oaky, if nothing else, the look on your jealous neighbor’s face makes it all worth it.