Nope, my only show time now consists of just me staring at my bike in the garage after I’ve changed something. The best part is that I never ask myself foolish questions and if my friend, Jose Cuervo, does, I don’t have to answer them. Being rude to yourself is a wonderful thing with no repercussions ─ immediate or otherwise.  

 

  Back to the matter at hand, our lovely Sportster feature bike belonging to the-also-lovely, Gretchen Sutton, of the possibly lovely town of Fuquay-Varina, North Carolina. Man, there’s a lot of lovely going on here, but checking out Gretchen’s bike, Bad Kitty, which started out as a regular old 2007 XL883R, you can see why I referred to it as lovely. As for the rest of the lovely(s), well, I’ll leave that up to Gretchen’s husband and bike-building cohort, Tim Sutton, to decide and probably keep to himself.

 

    What Gretchen ended up with was a tastefully blacked-out Sportster that’s been upgraded and customized until she had a bike she could call her very own and the ability to pass any lie detector test if asked whether her bike was the only one like it on the planet. No, it didn’t involve hacking and whacking followed by serious welding of the frame, but it did involve the careful and thoughtful selection of parts that made it special while keeping it rideable.

 

  For instance, the engine is internally stock with mods like a Screamin’ Eagle Heavy Breather Air Intake bookended by a set of Vance & Hines Short Shots with a Dynojet Power Commander III making them work in horsepower harmony. All of that just makes it sound, run, and look better while affecting nothing but the fun quotient. Tossing on a pair of Roland Sands’ Contrast Cut rocker box covers does nothing for horsepower, but adds just a bit ‘o cool where none existed. Going back to the Harley well for Dark Custom derby and timing covers was all she wrote before the bell sounded ending the engine round.  

 

  Round two began with leaving well enough alone like that tubular steel thing surrounding the engine and giving everything else a place to bolt-on to. Doesn’t mean that the bolt-on stuff has to be left alone and Tim replaced the stock Sportster strutted- spring shocks with a nice set of Progressive Suspension’s 412 Series shocks that left Gretchen’s bike sitting a bit closer to earth than before while providing a bit more controlled travel. And, they were black as night too. The stock wheels, tires, brakes? They’re all good for the intended purpose so nothing new to report there and that’s okay.

 

  What really started to change was the outside profile of the design from the chopped off rear fender to the LePera Bare Bones saddle to the stock Sporty’s tank now sitting stylishly chin-up on its DK Customs tank lift. Where it also takes a definitive turn to the custom side is the area Gretchen actually sees the most when she’s scurrying about her unpronounceable home town of Fuquay-Varina. The Vulcan Engineering Contrast Cut triple clamps set the stage for the Accutronix Tribal 5” Risers and riser bolt covers which in turn lay the clamp on a edgier drag bar. With no room now for the stock speedo, Tim picked a nice piece of kit to mount the speedo elsewhere. Joker Machine supplied the perfect solution with its side mount speedo setup that also has idiot lights which every idiot like me needs at some point in time. Tim also tacked on a not-tacky chin spoiler and a couple more choice pieces and the mechanicals were done.

 

   After getting Carolina Custom Coatings to provide a little of their powder coating magic in black, Tim sent the tins off on a cross-country trip to C.R. Designs Custom Paint in Phoenix, Arizona, for look that varies depending on what side of the bike you’re looking at. Personally I love asymmetrical paintjobs as it’s so much more interesting to see more design on the other side of the bike rather boring duplication. That is, if the paintwork is interesting and done well. On Gretchen’s bike, C.R. Designs scored well.

 

  When he got everything back from being paint and powder coat, Tim bolted it all together and Gretchen got a looker that she can ride ‘till the cows come home or whatever silly and outdated phrase you want to substitute for this one.  Not only did she get a nice running and looking bike she can call her own, but like Oscar Goldman, boss of injured astronaut Steve Austin, said in the opening of the Six Million Dollar Man said, “We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was. Better. . . stronger. . . faster.” Hey, that sounds a lot like Gretchen’s bike.