The photo caption referred to him as Madman E.J. Potter and for once, the press hyperbole was spot on. I was convinced you had to be a madman to ride a motorcycle with a damn 500hp V8 car engine redlining between your legs. Making it even nuttier was that his bike was direct drive with no clutch so he had to stage his bike on a triangulated rear wheel stand like old vintage bikes with the tire spinning away as the engine hit 6,000rpm. Rolling off the stand and getting the spinning wheel back on Mother Earth, he’d hold that throttle WFO the whole quarter mile in a cloud of smoke. All I could think of was that E.J. was either a god among men or had sold his soul to the devil to be capable of something as insane as this and he instantly became my new hero.

Flash forward to today and I’m about to meet my new hero and a hell of a bike with a V8 stuffed in it. It all started as I was sitting down with a mug of espresso to check my morning email, I punched up one from Mark Barnett ordering me to get out of my pajamas and get my butt over to the dealership to test ride a bike – STAT! Leaving out any details of what it was, I grabbed my gear and headed in. Pulling into the dealership driveway, I saw a cargo trailer with V8 Choppers plastered on the side and kinda got the idea that this was going to be one helluva interesting test ride. A very pleasant guy named David Ward introduced himself and dropped the trailer ramp to unload a couple of whack choppers powered by 400” 520hp Dart/Chevy engines. All I could think was I had never driven a car with 520hp never mind a bike. Oh I’d had extensive seat time on a Boss Hoss but that only had 385hp and it was not a chopper like the raked-out, fat 300mm rear tire, rigid-frame V8 Choppers model (www.v8choppers.com) was about to be let loose on.

Making things a bit tougher was that this bike sure was purty with paint and a finish that would show any signs of stupidness on my part. David assured me there’d be no problem riding it and that all I had to concern myself with was that because it was such a built-up engine, they had to put a high-stall speed torque converter in it which he casually said, “Oh you’ll get used to. . . ” In case you don’t know, stall speed is the engine RPM level where the torque converter locks up and starts to turn the rear wheel. In an average automatic transmission, it’s just a bit of low speed slippage followed by a smooth lock up and you’re seamlessly off. High stall speed means you’re twisting the throttle away and waiting and waiting and then, bam! you’re off and running except this is more E.J. Potter take-off than minivan easy.

David fired up both bikes to warm up and the barely-muffled sound of over a thousand horsepower bouncing off the walls of Barnett’s was intoxicating and intimidating at the same time. He insisted on giving them a quick spin around the Barnett’s huge parking lot to make sure everything was cool and that’s when I got a bit worried. David drove them like God intended if God was into 520hp bikes and didn’t give a damn. He just nailed the gas and spun the tire hard, launching it would be a correct term. Yeah, like I’m going to get on someone else’s fifty-grand-plus bike (my estimate) and wail away in a busy parking lot to get to a busy street where it would all have to happen again. Damn he made it look easy though.

Eventually I got over my baby-man fears and we were ready to ride. I’m sitting there slowly turning the throttle trying to find where it hooks up and nothing’s happening so I keep twisting and twisting some more and all of a sudden, I’m off and running at a good clip in the parking lot. David’s got to be wondering what he’s gotten himself into as he just whacks the thing wide open and spins his way to the driveway exit like Pee Wee Herman’s “I meant to do that” moment in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. “David’s a horsepower junkie,” V8 Choppers’ owner Stan Hughes told me. “I just got through with one for him with a 427 small block with a 200hp shot of nitrous. Goes from 60-130mph in three seconds, maybe quicker.” I’m not sure that makes me feel better or even more of a baby-man.

Anyway, the rest of the ride was a trip and uneventful and actually quite a pleasure to ride other than when I was behind David on the highway and got a chance to nail the throttle hard at 80. Holy-shit- wheel-spin like I was in a burn out pit. The bike did track peachy and it was nothing more than a thrill. As far as the rest of the bike, the brakes worked excellent, the ride was incredibly smooth and comfy considering it’s a fat-tire rigid, and the engine was at least as vibration-free as a stock Twin Cam in its sweet spot if not smoother. Frankly, the V8 Chopper is just a chopper motorcycle that happens to have a car engine in it and does anything and everything a similar V-twin chopper can do. But, a V8’s no V-twin and that’s what makes this ride so special. There’s a saying that “Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” And after exercising 520 horses out on the freeway, I’m absolutely corrupted.

Don’t let my girly man take on this particular bike sway you against V8 Choppers bikes in any way. There are plenty of slightly more reasonable engine options that don’t require this high-stall converter and with a bit more time and without a hell-of-a-rider company rep watching my every stupid move, I’m sure I could get totally comfortable and a bit less girly man on this bike too. I really, really look forward to getting another email from Mark telling me to park my PJ’s and that the V8 Choppers’ truck and trailer is back in town. Second time’s the charm they say.

In the meantime, since I’ve met my personal Waterloo, here’s a little ditty to commemorate the event. As your restaurant server urges you, enjoy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sj_9CiNkkn4