Take this mystery ride that Barnett’s photog-extraordinaire, Jack Cofano, happened upon at the recent Smoke Out 17. Where in the hell does this bike fit into the current scheme of things? It’s rough and it’s ready and couldn’t be a more attractive hard core custom if there ever was one, but I bet it came in at a decent budget price. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that it was the culmination of years of collecting stuff that might some day be usable and a few Sundays at swap meets. One great thing about a home budget build I’ve found is how quickly friends come out of the reeds with all sorts of usable junk they no longer need. Like Kenny Bania, the obnoxious hack comedian on TV’s Seinfeld said, “That’s gold Jerry ─ gold!”
What we’re looking at here is a pretty rad drop seat rigid frame that comes from who-knows-where. I can’t help but be reminded of the Detroit Bros drop-seat bike we’ve previously featured called Bail Money that looks a lot like this with it’s nut-grabbing vertical tube that angles down from the top tube to the drop seat section. Hey, just mentioning, not criticizing the choice as it’s got the bad-ass thing going on pretty damn good. It may not have air ride, but who cares as you just can’t sit much lower to the ground and from the saddle to the ground too. Let’s just say it’s been pre-lowered by design and no air compressors were harmed in the making of this low, low motorcycle.
This bike reminds me of something I read once about Airedale terriers, “They don’t stand their ground, they are their ground.” That’s exactly the way I feel about this bike just parked there with a commanding presence and a great stance. There’s a build-up of action starting with the dual-spring springer and skinny front wheel with nary a brake piece in sight. That massively airy front end flows to the back over the Road Warrior furbelow on the top of the Mustang/Wassell-style gas tank while encapsulating the engine into this wedge of power before rapidly and abruptly ending at the drop seat section that finally comes together at the axle plates. It’s a dramatic build of ebb-and-flow full of interesting mechanical bits that don’t give a damn if they aren’t hidden.
Out back, the rear wheel is a traditional spoked wheel that holds a much beefier, but not too beefy tire that looks proportionally right for this build. It’s no jackass 300, 330 or 360 tire stuck on for shock, but something the builder could actually use on a ride that didn’t involve just a straight main street. Yeah, you might not go cross country, but you sure can go out and ride around back roads with your friends. You might have to be a little careful, though, as the only brake on board is a sprocket brake. I know, I know, a lot of people have told me they work just fine, but I have trouble believing it. There’s just something about the possibility of chain lube on the same surface you’re braking on that bothers me, but I bet the owner can just ride the living hell out of this bike and couldn’t be bothered dealing with my fancy boy problems.
If I had to guess (and I do), I’d say the engine and tranny are Harley-Davidson Evo, fairly new or lightly used, and set up to run well more than hopped-up to within-an-inch-of-its-life. The guys making these bikes are also riding these bikes often as their only rider and they need something that runs well more than anything else. Even putting a stock Evo into a fairly-light build like this is going to be a peppy ride to say the least. I do like the fact that someone respects this engine as it’s kept surgically clean and not thrashed on to try and add patina. The small, tri-spinner air cleaner sits directly between the short, twin upswept headers covered in header wrap and herringbone stainless mesh to protect the rider and ends in a dual tractor flap caps exiting right around the rider’s lower torso. Oh it looks funky cool, but I’d hate to spend a lot of red-light time like I seem to do as asphyxiation could be in my future. Hey, maybe this guy lives in a small one-light town so it’s not a problem. I bet it sounds good.
One thing I can’t help but notice is the quality of this build. It may not be to other people’s idea of “show quality” but then show quality doesn’t really mean anything more than obsessively ridiculous and hard to work on to me anyway. Basically everything’s out there to see and be accessible if need be. The clutch lever/hand shifter combo is one solution to a potential problem that looks interesting just by itself. Same goes for the rear fender stay which is about as utilitarian as you can get in design, but fits this build more authentically than a beautifully curved piece of stainless rod ever could. It looks right. Again, same goes for the re-purposed air tank that is now the oil tank or the right-side ammo box that does who knows what? Battery? Tools? Sandwich? Who knows and that’s why I like it. It doesn’t look out of place or a gimmick of any kind, there’s a good reason behind it and we just don’t know it.
One thing I can’t quibble about is the finish ─ it fits this bike and probably the demeanor of the owner perfectly. The frame has a bit of rusty patina like it’s been kicking around the back of a shop or garage somewhere until the builder rescued it from oblivion. The scuffed finish on the bodywork fits the mechanicalness of this build and somehow it all contrasts nicely with the abundant chrome on the rims, springer and various engine pieces. The whole thing holds together because it’s all metal in its natural forms even the rusted parts. It’s one ass kicking machine and it makes no bones about that just parked never mind on the run with a hard core audio soundtrack accompanying it through those twin stacks.
I’m not sure if I’m hard core enough to own a bike like this anymore, but I sure wouldn’t pass up the chance to ride it if I ever got the chance. I know I’d spend more time checking this out than a big wheel bagger, though. No matter what, it’s an interesting build on a budget of imagination more than anything. Bikes like this are made for their owner who is ready to put up with whatever he can take for the ride of his life. The best part is that if there’s something he can’t take, he can always roll it back into the garage and change it up if and when he feels like it. And, he won’t wreck a five-grand paintjob doing it.