As we ride the Earth looking for the next great, undiscovered biking destination, it somehow occurred to us to think outside the yellow lines, way out. Comic Con International, a gargantuan gathering of the TV, film and print sci-fi industry and its following herds of super hero and horror fanatics, was rumored to be a lot like Halloween on meth. So we saddled up and rode out to San Diego, the jewel of southern California and Comic Con headquarters.

Teeming masses of wannabe do-gooders, vile villains, merciless monsters and other dark denizens of graphic novel and twisted imagination were drawn to the historic Gaslamp Quarter like zombies to free government brains. For four freakish days, downtown was transformed into a celebration of all things out of this world, the scary best our country’s finest geek-minds could devise.

She’s Hot, But She’s Not Infected

The event could not be contained by the San Diego Convention Center, spilling out to the street, every avenue and alley awash with costumed characters and caped crusaders. A Super Hero Pub Crawl, complete with secret locations, and a massive Zombie Walk, where hundreds of weirdoes marched in full makeup and red corn syrup through the city, turned this mild metropolis into a wretched city of nerds gone wild and unreal but still smelly undead. Some women’s costumes were so “pre-decayed,” as one zombie put it, shredded to near nudity, that being a member of the walking, mumbling, flesh eating dead didn’t seem so bad, once you got past the boring diet.

Anticipating this tidal wave of make-believe made us wonder out loud, “What kind of bike would you bring to a super hero rally? The action blockbuster, Captain America: The First Avenger, was scheduled for its U.S. debut just as Comic Con was reaching a fevered pitch. Wouldn’t it be cool to get on the 1942 WLA Liberator replica Harley-Davidson made for the movie?

The original was a 750cc V-Twin made to military spec and used mostly for messenger duty. Not exactly the boulevard blaster a super hero might straddle to spread his secret powers in the name of America, mom and apple pie.

Our clandestine operatives tell us the film bike is based on a heavily modified Cross Bones, bringing modern performance cloaked in retro skins to a new level, even for the reigning king of nostalgia cycles. Perhaps the Motor Company should consider some special, limited edition reproductions of their more historic bikes. Every do-gooder and big meanie will want one.

The Harley High Command

After several days of negotiation with Harley’s high command to secure a Captain American olive drab Liberator, with gun scabbard (we supply the gun), none were street ready. But all was not lost. H-D loaned us a 2011 Road Glide Custom to complete our mission. Flying the color of Superman’s cape, we rumbled around downtown and coastal communities on the lookout for damsels in un-dress. Although we witnessed many specimens in latex from outer space, or wearing high heels, lipstick and little else, none, sadly, needed our capable assistance.

The San Diego experience kicked off with Opening Day at nearby Del Mar Racetrack. Like Derby Day at Churchill Downs except hotter, southern California’s sexiest women don their most revealing finery and fanciest hats and trot themselves out to Del Mar to win the day. The pre-track party starts at the Brigantine Restaurant, which overlooks the racecourse. Like peacocks on parade, the Del Mar dance begins early, accompanied by bathtubs of socially lubricating beverages.

Low Income Millionaires

The seaside city of Del Mar is about 20 miles north of downtown San Diego. The track’s proximity to the beach gave rise to its tagline, “Where the turf meets the surf.” Financed by entertainment icons Bing Crosby, Pat O’Brien, Jimmy Durante and Oliver Hardy, Del Mar opened in 1937 and quickly became a playground for Hollywood elite and horsemen of every ilk, including iron jockeys.

While those stars have faded, Del Mar still retains a glamorous charm. On Opening Day, it’s a strutting, posing showcase for SoCal’s beautiful people, the stinking rich, old money, no money, wannabe rich, and the unhappy LIMs (Low Income Millionaires), the unfortunate group of once-rich people who struggle to keep up appearances and would sell their mother’s soul for a pre-owned Mercedes SL.

The cape-red Road Glide Custom handled its pro-temp super hero duties with aplomb, galloping about town, its fairing puffed out like Superman’s chest and supplying enough storage space for all the garlic, wooden stakes, silver bullets and anti-zombie juice we would ever need for an unnatural invasion.

Comic Con reconvenes July 12-15 2012. For more information, visit ComicCon; Del Mar Opening Day 2012 is unofficially scheduled for the third Wednesday in July. Visit Del Mar.